Argue to learn

https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2023/01/19/yale-researchers-how-highly-successful-people-argue.html

viewing contentious conversations as collaborative exchanges that can deepen your understanding of a given topic

Go into arguments with ‘an openness and willingness to learn’

Ask why you were debating in the first place

Seo recommends thinking of a debate as an opportunity to clarify your own point of view

What’s your argument?
Why is it true?
When has it happened before?
Who cares?

Use “Help me understand”

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小孩子不做家事 怎麼辦

我們跟Nini說好, 吃完飯, 要把洗碗盤。今天,Nini吃完早點後,就直接去上學,留下碗在桌上。她媽超不爽,跟我一直唸,一早醒來,就聽老婆這麼多負面的話,我也超不爽. 怎麼辦?

方法1: 等一段時間,寫一個reminder的簡訊。

大概一個小時後,我寫了一個簡訊。Nini也沒回 “OK”。反正訊息已送出, 看看她怎麼做.

處理2:

幾天後, 在送她去打排球的路上

我: Nini, 吃完飯, 記得要洗碗, 擦桌子.
Nini: OK.

接下來幾天,似乎Nini收碗盤的比例增加了, 不能說每餐都做到洗碗, 但比例真的比較多.

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